On Modern Dating Challenges and Relationships

This is a very different post and it is the outcome of a 5hour long Skype chat with a dear friend. Relationships are a big part of our lives whether we are single, seeing someone, engaged, married or divorced. Even though we chatted for several things of course we did spend a lot of time discussing relationships and relationship news of friends. There was lots of laughter in the conversation as we both shared funny experiences and incidents of our dating lives. I think we were mostly laughing with ourselves and the mistakes we have made along the way. We agreed that we have so many funny stories we could definitely write a book and we even agreed on a title: 'WhatEveR'. Apart from the joking part there was lots of discussion on the challenges of modern dating. 

I know for sure that I am not what people call a 'hopeless romantic' as I always analyse everything, even emotions, very rationally. That doesn't mean I don't believe in love or romance. To give an example through a film I am more of a Sense and Sensibility person where the 'irrationality' of romantic emotions and feelings challenges and breaks the strongest of characters when they find their 'perfect match'. It's more of a passionate feeling that helps you grow by connecting you to a person who can add and balance who you already are. 

Despite my rational approach to relationships and romance my friends have always confided in me and found me a useful source when they were in need of help in their relationships. When I get approached and they know what they will share is very irrational they just say to me: I know that what I am doing is irrational and there won't be a happy ending to it but I just want to epxerience and live it. My response is that since you have full knowledge then that's what matters. Many friends call me the relationathips expert or a 'cosmpolitan sage' which I have to admit irritates me. I just believe that my love for psychology and fascination for human nature has paid out. I love studying people which sometimes distances me from the people around me.

Going back to the Skype chat with my friend the questions and concerns that we both raised have been the centre in conversations with lots of my single, in a relationship, engaged, married and divorced friends. I love discussing relationships and understanding the different stages through which love and romance evolve or die. I try to have the same conversations with both genders to get the two sides of the same coin. What I have noticed is that irrespectively of the relationship status most of the stress in modern relationships and dating originates from the changing social role of the two genders. 

For example when it comes to modern dating:
*  both women and men are struggling in communicating their expectations from the other person due to the very casual uncommitted modern approach to relationships

* women have become financially and ssocially independent so the definitions of sharing, providing, caring and generally sharing responsibilities have to be individually defined. Motivation to stick with each other and work through hard times is not as string anymore.

* women feel that men have gone softer over the years and lost their boldness. Despite gender equality and feminism women still expect from the man to take the lead whilst respecting their equality and freedom.

* men have taken a step back as they don't know how to handle the modern woman. From my conversations it is harder for men that want a relationship to find one as they believe that less women are willing to offer that.

* women are used to being independent so learning to depend on a man can be a struggle. Men on the other hand do not want to feel dis-empowered in a relationship as it is in their nature to care and 'protect' their woman.

* men on average have become more emotionally needy maybe as a response to the more independent role of women. Emotional comfort could potentially give them a sense of a security. Many women find that unattractive or weak as women prefer their men strong so that they can depend on them.

* the average age to get into a meaningful and long term relationship or get married has risen so relationships starting in the early 20s are less likely to last for long. 

* there is so much cchoice in relationship labels and personal interpretations you have to explicitly discuss exactly where you stand so there is mutual uunderstanding of the eexpectations.

I decided to google modern dating challenges and I found that almost all bloggers express similar worries.

Some examples:

Christopher Hudspeth, The Modern Dating Struggle 

'There's a rise in the fear of commitment, leading to a lack of labelling. It's simpler for some to see movies, eat dinner and talk to a person whenever there's time, than to define themselves and have a relationship classification to live up to'.

Brendan Barstow, Death of Effort in Modern Dating

'Men and women have worked together to lower the bar for effort - men have an oft-forgotten power of refusal as well an ability to influence the individual and collective relationship culture. If we wanted chivalry back, we could avoid relationships with women who aren't interested in it, trading ease of access for deeper satisfaction and reversing the female competition culture.'

Dybas On Modern Dating a Call for a Courtship Throwbak 

'Is courtship the easy road? Nope. Is it as sexy and instantly gratifying? Can't say that it is. Courtship is a much more difficult task to undertake, simply because one has to take time to figure out what it is they want, and respect themselves enough to screen hard and only accept the best. It does away with the concept of "settling", which people do too much of in their life anyways. It forces people to think of ways to enhance and enrich people's lives, instead of simply taking what they want from the other person. Does it lead to a richer, more fulfilled life in the end for both people? You bet.'

Dr Joanne Wendt Modern Dating: A 13-Step Process

'Perhaps it's a fine line, but it's not desperate to want to communicate. And there's a big difference between expressing curiosity and being controlling. It's all in how you as the question:

Are we in a committed relationship? vs I want a committed relationship.

Are you seeing other people? vs. I don't want you to see other people.

And if questions like these frighten off the other person, it means that's not where their head is at and it wasn't going to go in that direction anyway. So you have a lot of wasted time and emotional investment and unnecessary suffering and emotional pain.'

These problems that we face are linked to both practical and anthropological changes. Practically for example women spend more time in education and by the time they build their career family and a relationship can only be a conscious primary goal after a certain age.

Anthropologically we have seen that with feminism and all that equality talk women have been fighting to get liberated from the social norms that confined them in a submissive/secondary role. We have been asking for a voice and I know that some of us in an effort to break away from that stereotype we started adopting male characteristics.

My grandmother told me once: 'You modern women have ruined everything my generation fought for. You have gained so much freedom since we were your age but you are disrespecting that freedom. You have ended up abusing your female nature and your bodies. And that is reflected in your failed relationships, marriages and parenting skills. The freedom should be a celebration of womanhood and not its diminish'.

I think the biggest mistake we have made is that in order to reach that equality we have neglected the biological differences and needs of the two genders. Paternal instincts for example cannot be the same as maternal instincts as even biologically women play a more active part in the birth and nourishment of children. We have forgotten that these roles are meant to be different but both are as important and equal. Our bodies and brains are supposed to work differently. Our role is to educate ourselves on those differences and learn how to take advantage of them by working together. Instead of breaking boundaries and striving for a better understanding of the usefulness of those differences we have ended up fighting for their equalisation. We have ended up fighting against our own nature.

Where do we go from here? I believe that both genders 'suffer' from the same problems in different ways so finding people from the opposite sex with the same mindset is doable. The secret? When we meet the person we have to open up, communicate and take more emotional risks. It is also important to keep in mind that since in the modern world we are emotionally inexperienced to reach a state where we feel safe in our communication will by default take time and conscious efforts.

It is a huge challenge and this was what I told my friend that after so many years of living on my own I have to consciously decide not to just let someone in but to also allow them to walk by my side. My defense mechamisms are set in an auto pilot mode so if I continue living in that default I will keep blocking everyone out. Geez I wish there were lessons so I get to consciously educate myself on that!

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Sticky Toffee Cupcakes with Salted Caramel Icing

A few weeks back I was invited to a friend's house for dinner. As I didn't have time to bake a dessert a bought a sticky toffee pudding from the bakery. The pudding didn't have any caramel sauce on top so I decided to at least make that. As I was browsing through sauce recipes I came across many on sticky toffee cupcakes and I saved a for future reference. I have been looking into cupcake recipes for years but, to my surprise, I had never come across any sticky toffee ones. The main difference in this cupcake recipe is the various non-typical ingredients making it more difficult to bake without having it planned. I happened to have the added ingredients this time so I took the opportunity and baked a bunch. They turned out awesome and yes they were almost gone within 4 hours! Luckily I saved one for the photos.

Ingredients:
150g pitted dates
50g dried apricots
200ml boiled water
1tsp vanilla extract
90g butter
150g muscovado sugar
2 eggs
190g self-raising flour
1 1/4tsp baking soda

130g caster sugar
80ml water
100ml double cream
1tsp vanilla extract
1/4tsp salt

We start by placing the dates and apricots in a pan and cover with the boiled water. We leave them to soak for about half an hour. Once soaked we remove the skins from the dates and then mash the dates, apricots and water in a food processor. Lastly we add the vanilla extract and give it another spin.
Preheat the oven to 180C
In a mixer we beat the butter with the sugar for about 5-8 minutes until we get a light mixture. We add the eggs one by one and we continue to beat for 5 more minutes. In a separate bowl we mix the flour with the baking soda and we slowly start add the flour in our butter mixture. Once well mixed we add the mashed dates and apricots. We continue beating for 3-5 more minutes. Spoon the mixture into the cupcake forms and bake in the oven for 15-20 minutes. Once cooked we remove from the oven and let them cool.
For the salted caramel icing we dilute the sugar in the water in a saucepan over medium heat. Once diluted we increase the temperature to the max and let it boil stirring occasionally. Once light brown we add the double cream, vanilla extract and salt making sure we keep stirring all the way till all the ingredients mix well.
We remove from the heat and we let it cool. Keep in mind that the final stage of adding the double cream is a very quick process that lasts about a minute. We need to remove the caramel right after so it doesn't burn.

We decorate the cupcakes with the salted caramel once it is cold.

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Easy and Delicious Christmas Cookies for Creative Minds

Somehow it doesn't feel like Christmas until I start writing my Christmas baking. Even if I decorate my house I still need the Christmas smells to get in the festive spirit and to write my Christmas Cards I need the house to smell like baked Christmas cookies. I love cinnamon, clove and all winter spices so Christmas cookies are favourites. There are lots of recipes around but a few years back I cam across a very simple one. These cookies look like gingerbread ones but they are not the same. The spices used give them a warmer taste without the crispiness of ginger. The only tricky part is to make sure you don't end up overbeaking them as you still need them soft.

November has been so crazy that I didn't even have time to post all of the recipes I made. I have the photos so I will be doing so in the future to compensate for the empty month. I had decided a while back to clear an afternoon and do my Christmas baking and that was yesterday. I was lucky cause a dear friend also joined me and kept me company as I was baking half of the bunch of cookies. I wanted to bake three different types of Christmas recipes and one of them was these cookies. I decided to start with these ones as she loves decorating them. As she was decorating them she came across the Santa figure. She knows I love summer and instead of drawing a Santa she decided to draw a summer Santa babe. I couldn't stop laughing and loved the idea. The outcome was more than half of the cookies to end up wearing a bikini. The cookies tasted amazing but I thought we got a bit off track and maybe I will have to bake another bunch if I want to give them as Christmas presents.

I recommend this recipe not just for its simplicity and amazing taste but also for the fun you can have with it ;)

Ingredients:

250g butter

250g brown sugar

75g white sugar

1 egg

pinch of salt

2 tbsp milk

500g flour

1/2 tsp cinammon

1/4 tsp clove

half a nutmeg

We put all ingredients in the mixer and work until we get a workable dough. On a floured surface we roll the dough and cut in any shape and size using cookie cutters.

In a preheated oven we bake on 160 C for 20-25 mins.

After they cool down we decorate using our imagination!

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New York Style Cheesecake

Cheesecake is the dessert I used to make a lot when I was younger. Giotis was the first Greek brand to offer boxes containing semi-made ingredients and recipes for cakes and cheesecakes. A similar international brand is Betty Crocker. As a teenage girl it was exciting to bake something in just 15 minutes and succeed in it without any effort. It also felt great to get applauds from guests when they tasted the finished good. I know what you are going to say. But come on! You were basically handed the dessert ready made so how could it go wrong? Surprisingly even though these recipes were easy to follow few people couldn't even get those right. Even though the brand offered other types of desserts in the same concept, such as tiramisu, mille-feuille, black forest cake, I always chose the cheesecake. I am a huge fan of mixing sweet and sour flavours to the point that my family is really worried about my taste. I won't go into details here but the food combinations I come up with are sometimes very extreme!

As I was growing older and I was getting more and more into baking I decided to start baking cheesecakes from scratch. I was amazed by three things:
1. Most, if not all, cheesecake recipes are made with philadelphia spread cheese (you see I thought I would find more variety in the cheesy flavour of cheesecakes)
2. Most, if not all, use digestive cookies as a base
3. Cheesecakes are very easy to make from scratch so you don't really need the semi-made boxes

Now when it comes to recipes the variations are in relation to whether you prefer a baked or non-baked cheesecake, vanilla cheesecake with a sort of fruity topping or a flavoured cheesecake. After trying a few different recipes I have realised that I am a bigger fan of the baked cheesecakes and I would only make a non-baked one if I didn't have as much time to prepare it.

This recipe is a very simple and basic vanilla cheesecake recipe. When I served it I asked my friends whether they would like a fruity topping and their response was no. They loved it as it was! It's true that with this recipe you achieve really good cream consistency and a very balanced and original smooth taste. You can use it as a basis and then decorate it with different types of caramelised fruit or toffee and coffee sauces.

Ingredients:
300g digestive biscuits
160g unsalted butter

900g Philadelphia
120ml double cream
3 medium eggs
130g caster sugar
3 tbl flour
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 lemon

Preheat the oven to 180 C and in a bowl crash the digestive biscuits. Melt the butter and pour it on top of the crashed biscuits. With your hands squeeze the biscuits and butter to get a consistent mix. Place the biscuit mix on the base of a 25cm springform and squeeze them to get a firm base. Put in the oven and bake for 10 minutes. After removing the sprinform from the oven turn it to 200 C.

With an electric mixer start whisking the cream cheese and as you go slowly add the sugar and the flour. Once well mixed add the eggs one by one and beat until they are well incorporated. Finally add the zest from the lemon, the vanilla essence and the double cream. Keep beating until the mixture is smooth.

Pour the mixture in the springform and bake for 45 minutes. After 20 minutes check your cheesecake and make sure that the top is not getting too brown. If it does cover with kitchen foil and continue baking for 25 minutes. After you take it out of the oven let it cool and then put it in the fridge.

Some advise to let it cool for 2-3 hours before serving. I love eating it when it is in room temperature so I don't always cool it before I serve it. It is up to you!

I will be coming back to give you more ideas on different cheesecake toppings. For the moment you can enjoy it as it is! I can guarantee it is delicious!

Special thanks: Special thanks to a good friend of mine for taking this photo for me! I thought I would have time to photograph a piece after my friends were gone but by then it was all gone! Oops! Oh well it was too delicious so I guess I can't blame them for eating it! So yes thank you Yi-fang :)

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Greek Traditional Almond Cookies ~ Αμυγδαλωτά από την Αμμουλιανή

 

Greek women are one of the most amazing bakers and cooks as through food they express their love for the people around them. The food they cook and the desserts they make are pieces of culinary art as they combine excellent taste with unique presentation.

My sister is visiting me from Greece and one of the numerous things that my family and friends sent me were these amazing almond cookies. They are handmade from one of my aunt's friends. She lives in Ammouliani island, which is one of my favourite summer destinations, with her captain husband. The recipe is very simple yet these cookies are full of flavour. Generally I love sweets that have almonds as their basis so no matter how simple the recipe is it immediately becomes a favourite! These ones though are extra special due to their presentation! Those of you that bake know how difficult it is to work with delicate cookie dough to create such detailed stems of flowers. I know for a fact that my aunt's friend spent hours to make these. I think it wouldn't surprise you if I told you that these almond cookies are usually prepared for happy special occasions such as weddings and are not a weekly custom. The women that bake and cook on that level are true experts and in Greece most of the older generation belongs to that category. I sure have lot to learn till I reach their level! I feel so privileged to have them around as an inspiration!

Before eating them I had to take a photo of each one as all of them were different.

Ingredients:
200g ground white almonds
50g icing sugar
30g water
1/2 tsp vanilla essence

We combine the dry ingredients together and the wet ones in a separate bowl. We them mix them together and work with our finger to get a sticky dough that we can work with our hands. We mould it either in small balls, flowers or any shape we like. We bake in a preheated oven at 180 degrees C until they get a light golden colour.

We can cover them in icing sugar if we want.

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My Heels are Higher than your Standards ~ Statement tshirts Act I

Statement t-shirts! I loooove them! There is nothing boring about an outfit comprising by jeans or black trousers, statement t-shirt, scarf, big earrings and a hat. Simple yet sexy and very modern! I can't get enough of them and I definitely prefer them to tops or tshirts that feature flowers or pretty and feminine designs. 

One of my first statement tops was the following very classic one

I wore it for many years and as I pulled it off with no problem I started getting into the habit of buying every tshirt or top that had a clever logo. You can find plenty of them but some are just too good to pass by and not get.

My favourite one from last summer is a top featuring Miss Piggy and the phrase 'call me diva'.

I love Miss Piggy but sometimes I find her too feminine for my taste. I love fuchsia, it is my favourite colour, but light pink just doesn't do the trick for me. This top on the other hand with the strong phrase caught my eye and balanced the girly softness that characterises Miss Piggy's dress style.

As I was walking through the stores with a friend of mine today she spotted this awesome tshirt. I am becoming a bridesmaid this week for one of my best best best friend's wedding and she asked we wear heels that are not that high. All my heels are at least 4 inches high (most actually are 4.7) so we were discussing with my friend that I will have a problem at the wedding. As we were having the conversation she spotted this tshirt with the phrase 'my heels are higher than your standards'. It was funny and so so perfect for the moment. We laughed and I thanked her for spotting it! I can totally relate to it. As we were rushing and I had other things in mind I didn't get it I just took a photo of it instead. When I came back home I decided to look for it online.

The tshirt is by the brand Blonde and Blonde that features clothes designed by Alexandra from Orange County California. I looked on her website's online store but I couldn't find the specific tshirt. As we spotted the tshirt in Bank here in the UK I looked into their website and I did find it in their online store. It costs £18.00 which I think is a very reasonable price. You can find the tshirt and get it online here. I think I will do that myself!

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Funky Chocolate Marcipan Volcanos ~ Αμυγδαλωτά με Καρύδα, Μαρμελάδα Πορτοκάλι και Σοκολάτα

One of the amazing benefits of loving baking and cooking is that when you crave a specific ingredinet you can find so many alternatives ways of using it to create the perfect treat!
Almonds, coconut flakes and chocolate are always in my cupboard. Last night I was craving for something small chocolatey and coconutey. I looked on the web for recipes with these ingredients and the result was a plethora of cookie and cake recipes. I wasn't satisfied as I wanted something more moist and preferrably not baked. As I was continuing my search in both English and Greek I came accross a few recipes of what we call in Greece Αμυγδαλωτά treats similar to marcipan. Building upon the basic recipe for Αμυγδαλωτά I decided to add coconut, orange curd and chocolate and make my own version of marcipan chocolates. As expected I loved them but yes I wasn't the only one. A friend that visited me last night loved them too and ate 3-4 of them :)

Ingredients:
1 cup ground almonds
1 cup coconut flakes
3 tbsp orange juice
2 tbsp water
1 tsp vanilla essence
1 cup orange curd
200 g dark chocolate to coat

In a bowl we mix the dry ingredients with the vanilla essence and the orange juice. The aim is to get a sticky dough we can work. If needed we add more water. We form small balls and put them in the fridge for half an hour. Once out of the fridge we dip them one by one in the orange curd and put them in the fridge. We melt the dark chocolate in Bain-marie and set it aside to cool for 10 minutes. On our kitchen counter or table we place kitchen foil and on top of it we arrange the balls. With a spoon we pour chocolate on each ball and then if we want decorate with crystallized decorating sugar or coconut flakes.
We place our marcipan chocolates in the fridge and cool for 1 - 2 hours.

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Pins & Brooches

I have to admit that pins and brooches are my least favourite pieces of jewellery. For some reason I have associated them with older ages and thus the thought of wearing one has been demotivating for years. I grew to like them when I started using them to accessorise my winter hats and thus I have associated them with winter. As it is starting to get cold I decided that it was about time I remind myself of the pins and brooches I have. This one caught my eyes as it is one of the first pieces of jewellery that my sister created. It is very basic and as it is quite big I usually wear it with heavy sweaters. Since then her pin and brooch designs have become more articulated. She has also managed to create pieces for younger and modern girls.

One of my favourite designs is the following dress one.

It's made with felt, swarovski crystals and metal. Unfortunately this one hasn't ended up in my jewellery box but she gave it as a birthday present to a close friend.

Another favourite is the following more sophisticated one. 

For this one she used corals, swarovski crystals and lava rock. This one was given as a gift to one of my mum's best friends. Despite it's 'mature' look I would definitely wear it.

I have to apologise for the poor quality of the two photos but I can't get new ones as both of the brooches are with their rightful owners. Needless to say that they are loved and wore on a regular basis.

I love how she mixes different materials and ends up with designs for various styles and ages. She has plenty more back home but unfortunately no photos. I promise to upload more once I am back home. It is true that it has been a while since she made something new so indirectly with this post I am trying to encourage her to use her imagination and surprise me with amazing new designs which I promise to continue to share.

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Thessaloniki Bagels ~ Koulouri Thessalonikis

'Gastronomos' is a cooking and baking magazine produced by one of the biggest newspapers in Greece. It comes out once a month and it is being sold along with the newspaper on the Sunday issue. Last Sunday the October issue was out and to my excitement it featured recipes from Thessaloniki. Needless to say I was very excited and asked my sister not only to get the issue for me but take photos of all the pages and send them to me. Later on I found the issue online so I also downloaded it from there.

The basic characteristics of the Greek cuisine are identified with the used ingredients. The use of fresh mediterannean vegetables, olive oil, feta cheese, kaseri cheese, fresh fish and meat is the basic characteristic of the Greek cuisine. The recipes are very simple and healthy and make up a very balanced and healthy diet. Despite the uniformity of the recipes accross Greece each area has developed its own culinary identity as it basis its recipes on local products and specialties. I would say that it is one of the best countries for food tourism.

Within Greece the basic characteristics of Thessaloniki's cuisine are the strong use of spices and the influences from eastern cuisines. The geographical position of Thessaloniki, it's openess to welcome population groups from all over the world, its occupation from the Ottoman Empire and the settlement of Greek refugees from Minor Asia have welcomed culinary influences from different parts of the world. Even though many of the dishes are very familiar to Turks, Armenians, Jews, Syrians, Lebanese etc they maintain their original local identity. Within Greece the cuisine is identified as the richest in quantity and quality and Greeks from all over the country visit just to taste it. This is one more reason why I love my city. Being born in a family that has been a part of Thessalnikis growth and history since its liberation from the Turks I was lucky to be exposed to every little cultural secret and the history behind it.

In this blog I have already presented one of my favourites and most famous Thessaloniki morning treats 'Mpougatsa'. The second most famous morning treat is the 'koulouri' or the Thessaloniki version of the commonly known bagel.

As always before making them I looked for more recipes and what I noticed is that they are all almost the same apart from the final stage. Following some other recipes I decided to add one more ingredient in the final stage. They turned out delicious and their taste is exactly the same as the ones I buy in Thessaloniki. What also surprised me is how easy and quick the recipe is. The only tricky part is that you have to plan it in advance as the yeast has to be left in water for 8 hours.

Ingredients:

750g all purpose flour

20g dried yeast

450 ml lukewarm water (40C)

70g sugar

50ml olive oil

1 tsp salt

1/4 cup honey or petimezi

1/2 cup water

300g sesame seeds

In 100ml of lukewarm water we add 2 tbsp of the olive and dilute half of the yeast. We leave it covered for around 8 hours to sour a bit.

After the 8 hours we repeat the process for the rest of the yeast and we let it aside for half an hour. In a bowl we mix the flour, salt and sugar. When both our yeasts are ready we pour them in the flour mix and add the rest of the water. We work the dough for about 10 minutes and add flour if necessary. The aim is to get a soft and elastic dough. We leave it to rise in a warm environment. I usually heat the oven in the lowest temperature and leave the dough to rise there.

We divide it in 40g parts and then form round bagels with each small part. In a bowl we mix the honey or petimezi with the warm. We dip each bagel in the honey mix and then in the sesame. All sides of the bagels have to be covered in sesame.

Preheat the oven at 200 C and bake for about 15 minutes or until our koulouria are golden.

Variations: If we want sweet koulouria we can mix raisins in the dough or add nutella or chocolate as fillings. Savoury variations include koulouria with feta cheese fillings or koulouria with olives.

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Chocolate and London ~ Choccywoccydoodah

I was never a fun of big chain stores nor shopping centres. I love unique brands and small retailers that view their trade as an art and I get so excited when I discover new ones. The big luxury brands that centre the production of their products on their logos never made sense to me. Brands that manage to associate their name with a fashion forward trend are the real winners when it comes to shopping. I don't own any luxury item that shows off a logo and I don't think I ever will. My guilty pleasure is acquiring numbered items that are well made, very unique but never feature a logo as I don't like the idea of owning and wearing what everyone else does. I think the most unique item I own is a pair of Italian boots bought in Greece. It was a pair spotted by my sister and everyone that has seen it loves it! When they ask me where I got them from and I say that they are handmade, numbered and the store had only imported one pair per size I can see how much more they are valued. I am sure that this was the aim of their designers and makers. And it works!

The Greek market does not depend on big chains and thus I am always spoiled for choice. There a few dominant brands but you can find plenty of stores that feature smaller designers. When I am in London I love spending time in Oxford Street and shopping centres but when it comes to shopping I prefer to search online for smaller stores and look for that uniquely different option.

That's how I discovered Choccywoccydoodah. I came across it online and I was amazed by their cake designs and as a dedicated baker I had to check it out. First time I tried to visit was in June while I was visiting London with a friend. Unfortunately we were there on a Saturday and the queue was so long we had to wait for at least an hour for a table. That's how busy they get during weekends. We quit the idea and I decided to keep it in mind for another visit. One of my best friends was visiting from Singapore this week and I thought it was the best opportunity to visit it! She has been all over the world and she appreciates unique places as much as I do. She is a chocolate lover so I knew it was the best place to go and catch up. Needless to say she loved it! On the ground floor they feature some amazingly decorated cakes and a chocolate variety which you can buy on the spot and on the first floor they work as a cafe. 

We didn't have much time since our schedule was packed but their menu confused us! It took us at least 10 minutes to decide what to try. She ordered a chocolate cake and I ordered the sundae. Their portions are huge and so so worth it! Needless to say I couldn't finish mine!

Even after getting so full with all that sweetness we still had room for some 'window shopping' on their ground floor. The amount of time spent on those cakes and the imagination it takes to conceptualise them deserve my respect. One thing I am not a fan of is their use and fascination with skulls. I forgive them though since the rest of what they offer is not just food but a complete unique experience. The messages featured on the cakes are the icing on the cake. Sweet messages that remind us of the meaning behind the gesture of giving a chocolate or a cake as a present to someone. Reminding us that the sweetness of the chocolate signifies the sweetness of our love towards that person :)

I highly reccomend it!

Brighton Bar Du Chocolat

Address:

27 Middle Street

Brighton BN1 1AL

Opening hours: Monday to Saturday 10am - 6pm, Sunday 11am - 5pm

email: barbrighton@choccywoccydoodah.com

phone no: 01273 732232

London Bar Du Chocolat
Address:
30 -32 Fouberts Place, Off Carnaby St,
London W1F 7PS

Opening hours: Monday to Saturday 10am - 6pm, Sunday 11am - 5pm

email: barlondon@choccywoccydoodah.com

phone no: 0207 734 9713

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A Flowery Date

I was going through my jewellery today and as I was trying to find the pair of earrings I wanted to wear I came across this lovely pink flowers that my sister had made for herself. Well her biggest mistake was that she chose to make them in my favourite colour. Needless to say that when I saw them I confiscated them. Till now I am not sure if she happily gave them away, as I love 'forgetting' her jewellery in my suitcases so me having them was not really her choice, or if the compliments she gets when I wear them compensate for the loss of her creations. 

Generally felt is a very hip material but I wouln't wear it with more posh and evening outfits. I mostly combine it with summer dresses or jeans and tshirts. I think my sister's most impressive felt creation is the 'bear couple' pair of earrings. Despite their simplicity these little bears are very sweet and so romantic that they keep stealing people's hearts! My sister has managed to keep them not cause I don't like them enough but because they don't match my style. 

Felt is a very common material in jewellery making nowadays and you can find them in most stores. Like feathered earrings few are worth checking out. I think my favourite felt creations, apart from my sisters, are Michele Friedman's jewellery. I love the designs and the way she is using felt to give colour to the metals. I haven't purchased any of her creations yet only because I haven't decided which one to get. 

An example of the most common use of felt is the one below by LauMara. Simple, colourful and geometric designs that for don't really have to say anything new. 

I know that my sister's jewellery are not as sophisticated as Michele Friedman's but not only they are more impressive than the common ones what I really love about them is how her imagination gives life to the jewellery and provides a story for every design.

If you want more information about her designs or maybe order a piece or two you are more than welcomed to email me at kurkubinii@gmail.com

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Feathered Earrings made with Sisterly Love

There is so much choice in jewellery nowadays which as a fashion 'guru' I really appreciate. Nevertheless after so many years of being a professional shopper I still don't believe that the variety can cover my imagination. I grew up with a very creative and artistic mother that loved handicrafts so I learned to use my imagination and create my own pieces and not rely on what you find in stores. While she was making her own Christmas and Easter decorations I was experimenting with the materials she was using to make my own. As a girly girl I experimented in making bracelets and other jewellery pieces. I was lucky I was given with the materials and tools to do that but then again the same luck has made me very picky.
There is a huge difference between experimenting with available materials when you are a teenager and making really nice decorations or jewellery pieces that you can use as fashion statements in your adult years. Maybe you can get away with decorations but with jewellery for sure not! At one point my sister showed me some jewellery she had made and I was impressed! She was really good! The materials she is using are a combination of precious stones and cheaper elements giving an expensive feel to her creations. Her designs are very edgy, playful and fashion forward. She has definitely something to say about fashion through her work. I think what thrilled me the most was that I had someone very close to me that could turn all my crazy jewellery ideas into one of a kind creations! I am so selfish I know!
I love her pieces and even though she sells some of them I'd rather she kept everything for me and her! OK she is also allowed to make jewellery as presents for friends but only for special occasions!

This pair of earrings has been one of my favourites! She has made it with different colours of feathers and even though fuschia is my favourite colour, turqoise being my second favourite has made me fall in love with this specific combination. I find feathers very sexy and edgy but I think the way they are used in jewellery is very simplistic. I was impressed by my sister's idea to add the artistic wooden piece and I believe it works perfectly.

The use of feathers in earrings that I find in stores over and over again is the following, as currently featured in accessorize and you can buy for 8 pounds,

and is definitely not good enough for me!

Then you can find the very common combination of feathers and chains, this one is from etsy and the shop LoveAtFirsthBlush costing 24.17 pounds,

still not good and as I would say a bit traaaaaagic! 

Then a bit more sophisticated and geometric use of feathers, as found in etsy by wildspirits

which I have to admit is a bit better :)
For me even swarovski hasn't managed to perfect the use of feathers in their jewellery, as you can see in the photo below, so I still believe that I am impartial when I say that my sister's designs rock :)
If you think you can challenge me please feel free to reply and share designs you have found!
I promise to keep posting more of her jewellery!

If you want more information about her designs or maybe order a piece or two you are more than welcomed to email me at kurkubinii@gmail.com

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Scones with Love

I met a close friend of mine for lunch yesterday who is also a dedicated baker like me. While we were chatting I mentioned that one of the reasons why I love baking is that it reminds me that the natural world has its own perfect timing. We live in a world where 'time is money' and we end up pushing ourselves to an unnatural lifestyle. The natural processes in baking, waiting for the dough to rise, beating the eggs for a while until you get the perfect fluffy meringue, having to boil the water with the sugar for a while until it gets the right consistency to turn into caramel, remind me that you can't rush life and you have to be patient for nature to take its course. I shared with her that for me baking is the best break from the chaotic daily lifestyle and stress and her response was that she feels the same.
The conversation reminded me of an article I had read in BBC with the title Can Baking Make You Happier? .
Here is a quote from the article 'Baking helps lift my depression. It can't cure it but it helps,' Says John Whaite, last year's winner of the Great British Bake Off.
It is amazing to think how therapeutic baking and cooking can be. From stress to depression relief.
From my friends and family I can always tell who bakes and cooks with love as their food tastes so much better. Over the summer we had visited a close family friend that is an amazing cook and baker. Her cakes, muffins, pastries are very original and delicious! All of them home made but you think you got them from the most expensive bakery. As she was treating us with some of her goods I complimented her by saying that her food is always so delicious and I can feel that this is cause they are baked and cooked with love. My comment touched her and she almost cried. She replied that for her baking and cooking is the way through which she expresses her love to her loved ones.
I wish people nowadays took more time in the kitchen as not only it would help them regain a more relaxed approach to life but it would also improve the relationships with the people around them.

So yeah I had been craving scones lately so I decided to bake some instead of buying ready made ones from the store. I looked into many recipes and I noticed that they are very similiar to each other. I combined a few and took inspiration from a recipe by Lesley Waters in which she added ground almonds to the ingredients. I love almonds and I am happy I tried it!
Here is the recipe I came with:

Ingredients:
200 g self raising flour
50 g ground almonds
50 g butter
30 g caster sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
100 ml milk
1 beaten egg
pinch of salt

We start by combining the liquid ingredients, milk and egg, in a bowl. In a separate bigger bowl we mix the dry ingredients, flour, almonds, sugar, baking powder and salt. We add the butter in the dry ingredients and we rub the butter with the flour until we get breadcrumbs. Initially we pour 1/3 of the liquid ingredients working the dough until the liquids get absorbed. Continue by adding the liquid mix slowly slowly until you get a soft workable dough. You might end up not using the whole quantity of the liquid mix.
Leave the dough to rest for half an hour.
Roll the dough until it's 1.5 - 2 cm thick and cut with a cookie cutter. Grease a baking tray or cover it with baking paper and place the scones on the baking tray. You can sprinkle some flour on top of the scones.
We bake for around 10 minutes at 220 C in a preheated oven.

We serve with clotted cream and jam!

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String and Sparkle

Diamonds are a girl's best friend and so is everything that sparkles. Don't get me wrong I appreciate expensive jewellery and of course love diamonds but there is so much good variety in cheaper versions of sparkle. The new trend is the combination of organic materials such as strings and rope with metal, gems and swarovski crystals. One of my favourite brands establishing this trend is Jolita. From their current collection my two favourite necklace pieces are the 

Bacchus Cameo and Flower Statement Necklace and the

Avignon Necklace. Their prices are a big high but they are definitely good for at least getting inspiration. 

One of my friends surprised me a few weeks back with the necklace in the main photo of this post and it reminded me the of  Jolita jewellery. She got it in Singapore and post it to me so unfortunately I can't offer any link for it. Needless to say that I loved it!! I have seen similar ones in accessorize and as I was browsing online I found a few examples of this trend 

by Shourouk Yildiz in asos 

and this 

Tom Binns in net-a-portet. 

A much cheaper version is this Cindy Collar from baublebar.

What I love about them is that they go perfectly well with jeans and plain tops as they add a hip and modern character to a very classic style. 

So girls yes sometimes it is fine to keep diamonds in the safe and wear simpler versions of sparkle without feeling guilty! But to be safe let's just keep that a secret and let men still believe that only real diamonds can do the trick ;)

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